What Keeps Me Up at Night

So here’s an interesting thing... Last night I met a girl named Lindsey who had recently moved to Austin. We invited her to come to a Bob Schneider show at Cactus Cafe, and although the show was sold out she tagged along for the rest of the evening, which consisted, as always, of a disjointed city trek visiting coffee shops and cafes.

Did I mention Lindsey was from A&M? That parts important. For those of you non-Texans who aren’t familiar with this school, it stands for Agriculture and Manufacturing (or Awful and Militaristic if you like)... from what I understand there’s not much to it; they hate gay people, there’s a section of grass you can’t walk on, the town consists primarily of WASP’s (white anglo-saxon protestants), and astronomical amounts of Keystone Light is consumed on a nightly basis. And there might be a football team.

Anyways... the point! Lindsey had started there, four years ago, as a Bio-Med major, which is to say Pre-med. She wanted to be a veterinarian (which is slightly different from one who doesn’t eat meat) but somewhere in the course of her undergraduate studies she decided to change majors. Do you know what she changed to? Well, I’ll tell you: Lindsey changed to Chicken Slaughter and Preparation!!!!!!!! I’m swear, I can’t make this stuff up...

It’s not that she wanted to study the most efficient way to slit the throats of dangling chickens and boil their feathers off; that in itself is fine (read: sick, sick, sick). But she went from loving animals and wanting to help them to studying how to kill and eat them in less than four years. These are the things that keep me up at night.