It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you, our dear sweet and delicate snowflake, Michael Warren Rice, has been admitted into a cardiovascular center on account of a severe case of love sickness. I talked to him recently and can only describe our conversation as disconcerting and somewhat mystical. He only speaks in parables and claims to be a modern day Nelson Mandela. Whats worse, every statement seems to be an ambiguous allusion to Alice in Wonderland. Except there's nothing wonderful about it. He feels like Alice must have felt when the Mad Hatter and the March Hare agreed it was time to switch places. I recieve frequent calls at 3 am in the morning with him whispering "Moses, oh sweet Moses, come and free my people".
So I did, I called his General, and said (or sang rather) "Pharoah, Pharoah uh huh oh baby, let me people go free yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah." It didn't work. So then I called George's direct line (bush that is) and demanded that he lay off the troops. So he did. Since then, Michael and his friends have gotten 3 meals a day and about 4 hours of sleep a day.
In all seriousness it's been a tough week for Michael (and his fellow soldiers) really would appreciate y'alls prayers. I know y'all miss his wit and charm so hopefully he'll be able to enter into the world of technology pretty soon!
This is Rebecca Southerland, signing off.
2 comments:
Rough times, Michael. We all miss you. I wanted to tell you that me and Matt got engaged! i(in you haven't heard)... =) We're excited. Anyways, come home soon?
Becca Ann is the best ghost writer ever! I hope you enjoyed your tortellini tonight. Tell Michael I'll send his ballet shoes asap...like fed-ex them overnight.
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