How to Put Out a Campfire and the Only 10 Things I Say Anymore

TX State CRU in College Station... Heck yeah!

“Well girls, I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s getting late, I’ve gotta pee, and there’s a fire right there calling my name.”

-Me, spoken to Anna, Cat, and Lacey last night in our backyard as we sat around our little fire. They scurried away and then John and I took turns dousing the blaze with our stallion streams of urine, and, upon completion, John refers to his, well, you know, as his “little fireman.”

**

This morning, while Bryson and his sisters cooked pancakes and bacon, I explained my newest theory between sips of Folgers classic roast mixed with a 5:1 Peppermint Mocha coffee mate ratio. My conclusion was this:

My verbal lexicon, in regards to how I respond to anything anyone says comes in at exactly 10 different responses. They are as follows:

1) “What a treat”
2) “What a nightmare”
3) “It’s the best”
4) “It’s the worst”

*Notice that there is no longer a middle ground with me anymore. The middle ground is like that foreboding place between East and West Germany, between the walls; it’s no mans land, the last place you go when you talk in extremes.

5) “Yeah.” Wait 2-3 seconds, then “Heck yeah!”
6) “That’s good.” Wait 2-3 seconds, then “Almost too good.”
7) “I know.” Wait 2-3 seconds, then, very loudly, “I KNOW!” (Nikki, all Nikki)
8) An assortment of hearty “Ummm”s and “Ah”’s, popularized by my Grandpa who still replies to nearly 95% of his wife’s comments with. I used to think this was 100% apathy but now I realize it’s 95% wisdom and 5% apathy.
9) “Awk- (usually Jessica finishes the) ward!” Or just repeat, in rapid staccato, “Awkward, awkward, awkward, awkward…”
10) “It’s not Yale.”