The Failure of Last Night’s Study Session: A Comedy of Erroneous Distractions

-Spend the first thirty minutes talking to a girl on the phone
-Break for tea time, justifying it to Sandy by astutely stating that John Milton loved peppermint tea so much that the original title of Paradise Lost was Peppermint Lost
-Try to sing “Everything that holds us together is falling apart” lyrics by Modest Mouse, unsuccessfully mind you, for nearly ten minutes (not nearly as bad, however, as when Marisa the Kissa spent the better half of Spring semester teaching me to sing “It’s bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!”, again, unsuccessfully)
-Spend forty five minutes driving with Lindsey and Jessi to a cement factory, in hopes of catching a sun rise, only to get kicked out shortly after arrival
-Eat six cookies and three brownies for dinner, followed by ample trampoline time
-Learn a dance routine which involves "Jazz Trotting" or something
-Have a beauty/fashion montage and take lots, and lots, and lots of pictures (coming soon of course)
-Eat the Lunar Module’s dinner specialty, Chicken Alfredo
-Act all crazy and excited for nearly half an hour about Howie Day playing on Saturday at Stubbs and call friends insisting they come too
-Watch the Tenacious D Masterworks DVD
-Play a thirty minute ill-advised guitar solo with the Lunar Module after getting inspired by aforementioned Tenacious D Masterworks DVD
-Practice aristocratic British woman Bill Cosby voice for ten minutes, insisting all the while, “Matthew, eat your damn pudding pop!”

All these things, including a good grade on your math test, are possible only if you can wake up at 6am, study, ace the test, and work in 104 degree (yes, really) heat all day. It’s now 7pm, I can barely keep my eyes open, and I’m going to bed. But not until I engage in the Lunar/Rice tradition of stuffing myself with food and jumping on the trampoline, perhaps simultaneously.