Commence Absurdites

There is perhaps something to be said of substituting deadly substances with fruit. Last weekend, while at the new Austin Central Market, I was treated (read: forced myself to endure) to a wheat grass shot. If you haven’t heard, this little one ounce monster is nothing if not potent; in fact, it allegedly has the equivalent of 3 pounds of vegetables. If you can convince your gag reflex system to look the other way, then you can look forward to an hour long stomach ache while trying to digest THREE POUNDS OF VEGETABLES.

Why did it even sound like a good idea to begin with??

Andy, after about 5 minutes of my coaching and encouraging him to take the shot, gets real determined to gulp it down. He confidently brings the drink to his mouth, a tiny droplet makes contact with his upper lip, and he begins violently gagging, thrashing, and spitting. I commence violent laughing, and Central Market customers waiting in line for their wheat grass shot commence hurried exodus. All that to say I had two shots of the green beast.

Last night a smoking circle somehow formed on the usually smoke free deck outback. While some guys grab their lighter and cherry flavored tobacco, I grab my jumbo bag of baby carrots. At one point, we tried smoking one, but the roasted vitamin A was a bit heady. I eat them for flavor, careful to not inhale the beta-carotene, and pray my teeth don’t turn orange.