Once upon a time my existence could best be characterized as a daily pursuit towards personal freedom, my choices and actions inhibited by neither time, space, nor others. The latter half of Voltaire’s witticism, “It is the natural state of man to pursue that which flees from him, and flee from that which pursues him” could not have been truer. In short, I wanted nothing more than impulsiveness in my day spontaneity in my night.
That being said, you can understand the sense of apprehension I felt yesterday as I spelled out my evolving relationship ethos to a friend. “Sure there was a time when I felt like settling down was the last thing I wanted, but I don’t know… These days nothing sounds better than coming home to a family after a long day of work, having dinner with my wife, putting the kids to bed, you know... I guess I just want a committed relationship.”
????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????
Yes, it’s true. Those words DID escape my mouth. Wait. It gets worse.
It seems that more and more I find myself, as the evening wears on, ready to get home, in bed, and curled up with a good book. Why do spur-of-the-moment trips to Austin sound less enticing than getting home to unwind and catch Charlie Rose (11:30)? Could it be early stages of my Ukrainian alcoholic psychosis, or perhaps something simpler? Time is relentless, and I fear there is but one answer: I’m getting older.
Is Charlie Rose just the beginning? Is the no-frills talk show just a segue to Jay Leno (10:35) and soon enough falling asleep after the monologue, reaching REM before the first guest? And then what? The local news (10:00) while in bed? Oh my god-come to think of it, I almost drifted off while watching ER (9:00) last week.
There was once a time when Corrie would call me “Old man” and I’d instantly revolt, searching for something to do which would prove my young, masculine allure. My masculine allure these days reaches climax as I settle in for an hour of PBS, an old decrepit journalist, black back drop and oak table.
I think. That I’m. Getting. Old.
24 comments:
You aren't that old Michael!! I wouldn't worry too much about this "masculine allure." You still got it!!! ;)
You're right on target! You are realizing and desiring the things that you were made for - stability, relationships, love with a wife, fathering children, etc. It's all good!!
I think you're right. For some reason I just can't wait to have kids, though it's a long ways off!! Oh boy. What am I gonna do??!!
Wow! This news just in....your 23!
Your not a young kid anymore. You are a man. I know many people who were well on the way to fatherhood and a career at 23...You... are....sniff,... sniff...MATURING...Yea Baby!
In all reality 99% of college students are not on their way to fatherhood and a career. That should be pretty obvious, buuuut I think I get your point.
Corrie! Don't call me old man! People read this! I'm the only one allowed to write that I'm old-the powers of self deprecation belong solely to me! :)
Michael
OH YEAH--
I miss you!
It's called maturing, Michael. Also, you are beginning to realize that family is "where it's at." True, you are a long way off yet, but the fact that you have thoughts like this should make you feel safe and comfortable with yourself. I do believe you have created a purpose for your life.
23....
Hey Michael, I just read your blog. Don't worry, it happens to everyone. Your still a good kid! Good luck with Spanish and Algebra. But please don't ask me about either....I had a long talk with Maddie. She now understands the importance of your hair and promised to only wet it with your permission. One day Maegan can fix your hair.
Chicks did older men.
opps. chicks Dig older men
Michael, don't you know you are young only once. You should be chasing sex as much as you can.. you don't want to look back as an older man and regret not getting more girls. just a thought of wisdom.
A thought of wisdom? Huh! You will have regrets if you live that way.
you're a mere pup. >blink< and poof, you're 40. these are your salad days... :o)
salad days?
Come on, that's easy....Raising Arizona!!!!!!
What a response to this particular blog....20 comments so far...makes you wonder why it had such an impact...
are you too old to google?
salad days:
A time of youthful inexperience, innocence, or indiscretion.
Those were his salad days, and he thought they might last forever.
--David Gergen, " 'They Love You. Watch Out,' " New York Times, February 2, 1997
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Salad days was coined by Shakespeare in Antony and Cleopatra: "My salad days,/ When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."
Man my Shakespeare lit course wasn't that inclusive it seems... I totally missed out on an obscure pop culture reference. Damn.
Or it could have just been a quote from the movie Raising Arizona.....
Quote from Raising Arizona: obscure pop culture reference. One in the same.
Wow! Almost 30 comments! Is that a record?
29 comments is very, very close to 30 comments!
YES! 30 comments! I like nice, even numbers - esp. multiples of 10. :)
Oh I had to go and ruin the perfect number! But yes, who would've thought a hastily written article, musing about feeling a bit older would cause such a stir!!??
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