Million Dollar Trick

Tonight marked the first event of Summer CRU, which will be a series of events in which the remaining students wreak havoc on the sleepy college town of San Marcos. Well, during the school year it’s sleepy; in the summer the city enters deep hibernation. Much like my Dad during the four hours a night that he sleeps.

The evening began with me arriving at Jason’s Deli to meet Matt Lunar for a date, but little did I know, he had invited everyone and their sister. Imagine my surprise when a group of 10+ walked into the restaurant as I, flustered to say the least, scrambled to hide the candles, bottle of wine, and put the flower arrangement under the table. Just kidding... it was awesome because Eacho and Broqwayewee showed up.

Disclaimer: If you ever plan to watch Million Dollar Baby, and are one of the remaining few who aren’t aware of the poignant ending, continue reading at your own risk.

Q: What’s worse than telling someone the ending of a movie they haven’t seen?
A: Telling them a fake ending, which they whole heartedly believe.

Last night I saw Million Dollar Baby. Yes, it’s the one that earned Hillary Swank her second Oscar; it seems she has the remarkable ability of being arguably the most beautiful woman in the world yet playing roles where she’s supposed to be ugly. Even with blood hemorrhaging from her disfigured nose, I sat there saying “Damn she’s good looking.”

I digress. Long story long... During the climactic title fight she’s hit with a cheap post round shot, knocked out, falls down and cracks her neck in two on the corner stool, which Clint Eastwood was unable to remove in time (what a scene! the camera frozen in awe on Eastwood‘s horrified face as he realizes what‘s soon to happen). Paralyzed, she asks Clint, a walking skeleton, to do her in. After some psuedo-soul searching and an ill-advised subplot with the priest, he obliges and pumps her full of enough adrenaline to kill a small horse.

So she dies in the end. But this is not how I was told it goes down...

SOMEONE, and I can’t remember who, tricked me and told me she dies of leukemia. So the whole movie, I’m sitting there, fighting to the urge to not cry on Luna or Christine’s shoulder, thinking to myself:

OH MY GOD! FIRST SHE BREAKS HER NECK AND THEY’RE ABOUT TO DISCOVER SHE ALSO HAS LEUKEMIA. WHAT KIND OF SICK WORLD IS THIS??!!

So really, whoever it was who told me she dies of leukemia, you’re sick!