As any linguist will tell you, the English language is going to hell in a hand basket. Today I had a most harrowing linguistic encounter that lends terrific credence to that observation. While at the Golden Corral today, I was grabbing some corn from the buffet line, when I heard a voice from behind me demand:
Why don’t you serve me up some dat der pigeon nibblers?
Shivers ran down my spine and I whirled about, mouth noticeably open, and in a horrified voice said, “What did you say?”
Serve dem pigeon nibblers.
Having lost all hope for humanity, I served up some pigeon nibblers. (Note to self: avoid buffet lines at all costs.) This is my life; serving corn from a Golden Corral buffet line, ending one kernel at a time.
It doesn’t end there. I returned to the table with my food and a Sgt. sat down across from me and began to pray. Hey, nothing wrong with that. But he continued to pray for the next 10 MINUTES! Literally, I had finished eating my chicken and pigeon nibblers and he still had his head bowed. I wanted to go but I was afraid he’d finish, look up to find me gone, and think the rapture had occurred, which is most likely the last thing this guy needs.
Oh, and did I mention there are two soldiers in the unit who think I’m a Lieutenant? Every time I come around the corner they snap to attention and salute. And the worst part is that I, smiling sadly, return their salute and say, in my best Lieutenant voice, “Carry on soldiers.”
6 comments:
New band for you to check out if you haven't already.....Bright Eyes. s.e.m
HAHAHAHAHA.... Good ole Golden Corral.
I've heard of bright eyes. Don't they have some album about morning or something?? I've kinda got my plate full trying to be a bit cooler by liking franz ferdinand and modest mouse. then it's a shot at wilco. if there's time between all that and playing garden state every day, i'll check out bright eyes.
where's dawn??? no comment yet!
You're cute!
Melody,
I'm flattered. I still can't get over the 72 degrees post. That was funny stuff... Anyways, keep up the good work and i'll see you at ACL if the parents will be as kinds as yours :)
Wow.
Well, you were at a golden corral.
Thats like the funniest thing I've heard all day.
Pigeon Nibblers
where do people come up with this stuff?
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