After returning from a night in Nikki’s dorm room, I can finally say with all honesty that I know what a disaster area looks like. How a tornado was able to touch down in Butler hall, leaving the structure of the building in tact, yet somehow dismantling her room, is a mystery. I’ve phoned the Governor, and with any luck we can get some federal aid by the end of the weekend.
The absurd part was when we were watching Newlyweds and it showed a picture of Jessica and Nick’s foyer, littered with dirty clothes. Nikki, with utter disdain and shock in her voice asserts, “I just don’t understand how people can live like that!” I tried to flash her a dirty look but was unable to see over the small mountain of laundry strategically placed upon, of all things, an air mattress monopolizing the entire floor.
We also watched A Walk to Remember, and it brought me closer to tears than any other movie since The Notebook, during which tears were literally rolling down my cheeks. It’s about a girl who is sick and divides her time between being angst ridden and playfully naive. She’s courted by her boyfriend, who divides his time between brooding and building telescopes (the telescopes are an exhausting metaphor: whereas the telescopic lens enable him to see faraway galaxies, the girl enables him to see the beauty and fragility of life). Eventually he gives her a tattoo of a crushed spider (read: morbidly disfigured butterfly).
If the Friday night mishaps thus far weren’t enough, later while watching Fight Club I witnessed perhaps the most disgusting act known to man. Corrie, in an act of Tyler Durden inspired self- destruction, pulled off her toenail. But she was very careful to carry it to the proper trash receptacle, which is like not throwing trash out the window of a car when driving through a disaster zone.
4 comments:
a TOENAIL! ahh!
What does the title mean?
Ok... in my own defense, you were introduced to my room at probably the worst it has ever been. The air mattress was there for a guest and isn't usually there. And as for the clothes and other debris, we were in the process of packing things up to take home. I admit, there is no excuse for my bed not being made, besides laziness... but we straightened up the room this morning, so you guys need to come over and give it a second chance. I PROMISE I'm not that big of a pig. :)
Why is "Kettle" capitolized? My room is very clean these days. Ask anyone who comes over to my apartment... It's virtually flawless. No worries Nikki! I couldn't care less if your room is messy. And like I said, it felt the most "lived in" (nice euphimism there) of all the dorms I've been to this year so far. I had a great time :)
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