Things Just Keep Getting Better

Though a long time adversary of waking before noon on Saturdays, I was somehow able to rise at the frightful hour of 11am to discuss living arrangements for the late summer/fall. While breakfasting at Fazzoli’s on complimentary breadsticks, the clouds began to dissipate and I became fearful of the light streaming through the windows. Morning light, I’ve always thought, could quite possibly turn me to dust.

If all goes to plan I’ll be sharing a house, just off campus, with three other guys from CRU. I’m not sure, but the more theologically eloquent/versed might refer to this as “living in community.” Someone mentioned a prohibition against girls in the house and collecting my things I wished them the best of luck. Oh to be amorous-curse of curses! Just kidding; girls, we want you over.

Things were going well enough, but then tragedy struck. John Mahoney had drawn a pictogram of the house, which showed the rooms and what not from a birds eye view. When no one was watching, I grabbed the pen and began to work on some interior design drawings for the living room. No harm no foul; interior design falls just inside the (malleable) borders of “guyness.” But then I wrote some song lyrics, emanating from the TV set with little musical notes fluttering about.

“Umm Michael... What does “Oh baby, things just keep getting better” mean?”

“Err... that’s the theme song from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I never miss it. Tuesdays at 9:00pm.”

It gets really quiet. Turns out that a quintuplet of homosexuals who teach straight guys how to be metrosexual is well outside the (apparently indelible) borders of “guyness.” Collecting their things, they wished me the best of luck.