Brief Disclaimer: Though we did get our asses handed to us in day one of the ultimate frisbee tournament we did have some great players. It was mostly me who sucked and found the whole thing rather disheartening and rather comical.
Then there were the times of terrible defeat, after which I trudged around searching for my lost dignity. Yesterday was such a day, as the CRU Ultimate Frisbee team haphazardly threw together a team under the misguided notion that we’d be able to compete with some of the best teams in the state. Harboring our delusions, we made our way to the field and prepared to face UT.
As we laughed and mocked their warm up session, which included drills and actually catching the frisbee (neither of which we were familiar with), we engaged in our own warm up session which included sun tanning (this was me), boasting our superiority (this was most of us), and claiming legions of angels would come to our rescue if need be (this was uniquely me). Derek Eacho aptly stated, “It’s an honor for UT to play with us.”
What followed was one of the worst ass kickings I’ve ever seen, though we did manage to score one point. Of course they (UT)had all but stopped playing at this point, due to the absurdity of our teams unorthodox strategy and our verbal promises of legions of angels soon coming down.
And this was before things got really bad. At some point in the day I mentally “checked out”, and resigned to fashioning a head band around my left leg, which I used to pull my shorts up too high for (anyone's) comfort, thus exposing my beautifully bronzed leg, muscles rippling and glistening in the sunlight (read: gross skinny white leg-description courtesy of Ms. Nelson). I strutted past the A&M sideline, hoping my sexy leg would cause them to go into a frenzy, not be able to control themselves, and not continue playing. In reality my risque antics were mostly to impress our small section of cheering girls, who alas, also failed to go into frenzy. One or two might have renounced any affiliation whatsoever with our team.
After loosing our third of four games, I decided to leave with the girls. JP, a rather burly young man who wears a beard, demanded to know where I was going. I informed him I was leaving with the girls and we were off to have “beauty night.” His face reddened (though Matt Luna found this rather comical) and he refused to continue speaking to me. I haven’t seen him so angry since the ill-fated camping trip to Enchanted Rock, during which I ascended a small mountain wearing my J-Crew pea coat and favorite scarf, all the while acting as though it was a modeling show, posing for pictures that weren’t being taken.
Walking off the field, at the end of the day, disheartened, disillusioned, angry at the legions of angles who never showed, I softly began to sing Damien Rice’s song The Blowers Daughter, which poignantly summed up not only our agonizing defeat and loss of dignity, but also our loss of hope.
And so it is, a shorter story
no greater glory,
No rainbow in her skies
9 comments:
It does not surpise me one bit that you walked off the field before play had ended, because you were losing.
Dearest Anonymous,
Though I have a rather strong inclination as to who you might be, I'll refer to you as anonymous. For the record, I did not actually leave with the girls for "beauty night"-that was a joke. If you read my blog regularly, you'd be aware that this type of humor is rather common for the Daily Rice. And since I feel that you are a regular reader, then the case would be that you are rather slow.
But let's analyze your actions a bit more. Furthermore, your cowardice which manifests itself in your pathetic actions (leaving mean spirited comments under the cloak of anonymity) is not welcome nor appreciated. You have every right to be a miserable person who likes to cowardly say mean things, and I encourage you to do so. In short, continue to be a sad, miserable, and passive agressive person but please do it somewhere else.
Sincerely,
The Editor in Chief
PS-As mentioned, I feel like I know exactly who left this comment. In addition to my suggestions to:
a) own up to your comments by signing your name
b) stop visiting my site
c) look up the word hubris and try your best to remember the definition (this one could prove the most difficult)
Might I suggest you consider learning a bit of rudimentary grammar with special emphasis on comma usage. There are some wonderful leisure learning or even English as a second language courses available in your area.
I'll always look to you for a funny story and a great picture of you strutting by a team to "distract" them with your fashion tactics! Oh if this all could have been on film. Thanks for the commentary. kk
It sounds like I hit the nail squarely on the head.
You got it dude...relax...I apologize...joke went too far man...My regrets..peace out.
Anonymous,
Well, let me apologize. I thought you were someone else but its clear now you aren't who I thought you were. I've had some problems in the past with a certain "anonymous" commenter. It doesn't seem to be you.
Whoever you are, my bad. The internet is very troublesome at times and jokes are hard to get. Sorry again.
Michael
Oh yeah, and just sign your name so I know it's a friend and not the jerk who I thought it was!! :)
Your a cool dude, I like you and was just rippin on you. I like reading your blogs...We are very cool, see ya around camp..later
Well now I am officially perplexed. See ya around camp?? Now I'm going to be wondering who this is... You can just tell me in an email and I promise to keep your identity a secret; sorry again for getting mad. I seriously thought I was sure about who it was and have had problems with this person before. Anyways, all's well that ends well.
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