I just got a rather heated email saying the theology posts are boring, no one cares, and to write something funny again. Always, and I mean always, happy to try and oblige humor requests...
A most curious incident occurred the other evening. After a long night spent diligently pretending to study I was pulling out of my parking space at the local coffee shop. As I was backing out, being ever cautious of my surroundings, I noticed a car was backing out as well from the opposite line of parking spots. But clearly, my car was farther out. To put it in swimming terms, which undoubtedly is the most absurd metaphor possible to be offered for parking lot mishaps, I was reaching for my towel and this lady still had her feet in the pool.
But she didn't yield, and made it clear she was leaving that parking lot in front of me! At this point, I was confronted with two simple yet drastically different options. A fork in the parking spot if you will. They were to:
1) Simply stop backing up, concede, take a deep breath, and take solace in the fact that I'm obviously maturing and growing wiser.
2) Grab my brand new Ozark Trail high-powered flash light and, armed with brightness only rivaled by that star we perpetually loop around, proceed to roll down my window and shine it directly in her eyes, thus blinding her and ensuring my victory (victory meaning getting to the stop sign, only 15 feet ahead, 2.78 seconds faster).
After a quick revision of my definition of maturity and wisdom, I proceeded to do my best to blind that old hag. I felt like Seinfeld wrestling the marble rye from the decrepit old woman, but dammit, I had to take a stand! She must have had sunglasses on or something, because somehow she made it out in front of me. As the Protege slipped away, mixed with the sound of screeching tires I could have sworn I heard Billy Joel ringing into the night, something about a Cadill-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac...
And yes, I oughta know by now.
3 comments:
Michael - Where are the manners that I've spent more than half of my life teaching and modeling for you? Remember the Golden Rule? You and Seinfeld!!! We are getting ready for your visit - and Corrie, we're excited to meet you. The other members of the Rice family have good manners and will not be shining flashlights in your face! See you soon. :)
Mom
Michael - Where are the manners that I've spent more than half of my life teaching and modeling for you? Remember the Golden Rule? You and Seinfeld!!! We are getting ready for your visit - and Corrie, we're excited to meet you. The other members of the Rice family have good manners and will not be shining flashlights in your face! See you soon. :)
Mom
Oh Mom, the double post! Classic mistake of the not-so-often commenter :)
The manners are there, but well, ok, maybe they are somewhere else. It was not my finest moment... But we can all agree George Costanza would have approved.
Son
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