And we take them out and show ourselves
When everyone has gone...
Some are satin some are steel, some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on...
Dear Bloggerphiles,
Late last night, while driving through the vainglorious state of Texas, I found myself growing rather lethargic, rather quickly. To alleviate the boredom that only drivers familiar with the mind numbing effects of I-10 can relate to, I turned on the AM/FM radio (standard in the ’92 Jeep Cherokee, the picture of luxury I know) and when the dial had completed its search, I found myself listening to not only talk radio, but religious talk radio. Brace yourself.
So, there I was, stuck in a 2,000 pound box of metal hurtling through time and space at 82 mph, listening to talk radio. Religious talk radio. Southern, bible belt, Protestant fundamentalist talk radio. I know I say this a lot and it quite possibly has lost its meaning, but yikes.
They were talking about the Dead Sea Scrolls-but that’s not the point. The curious thing about it was as the doubters phoned in to express their disbelief, I found myself answering their questions. Could this possibly be? Could I, Michael Warren Rice, king of all intellectual attacks against religion, juggernaut of organized religion, be explaining away these nonbelievers quandaries? Furthermore, was I using words like “faith, redemption, intellectual reconciliation, and forgiveness?” Who was this stanger? Not me. No way. Couldn’t be. But it's true, I was…
Faith is a curious thing. It seems to be hard wired into our brains that there is a creator, and while mathematical and scientific theories, in all their rational certainty and intellectual flattery, might explain away the uncertainties of the origins of us and our universe, they simply fail to comfort and convince beyond doubt. And isn’t the entire point of science to obtain clear, objective, repeatable results? Or to put it simply, eradicate doubt?
While a brilliant evolutionary zoologist/primatologist can write with certainty and convincingly create postulates that seemingly prove we are nothing more than the right combination of environmental variables, I imagine when he lays down at night there is something inside of him whispering there is more. There is something greater than our numbers and theories could ever offer. There is something greater that allows you this masterful, brilliant mind, and better yet, gives to you the freedom to use it against him. The voice is soft, barely audible, but it's there. Couldn’t be. Or could it?
I don’t know. But there are times that something that goes beyond all science, math, anthropology, philosophy, medicine, etc etc, comes through and breaks beyond all those intellectual constraints. An intense light that breaks through the cloud cover I’ve tried so hard to amass over these years with my doubt and anger regarding religion.
It feels as though a large crew is surfacing from the bowels of a ship, flooding the deck, and saying, “Look! Here we are! We’ve been trying to come up for so long!” I’m not sure if I’m ready to listen to everything they have to say, but I see that they are there. Waiting. Waiting patiently yet eagerly. It's the most accurate metaphor I can offer when dealing with things so inherently ineffable.
I think to a wonderful lyric I’ve always mused at, and wonder if God knew all along what would become of me and my faith.
If at all Gods gaze upon us falls,
It’s with a mischievous grin, oh look at him.
I wonder if He knew my doubts and fears were there simply to be overcome, rather than offer credence to my lack of faith on rational grounds. I’m not quite sure, but let’s hope there is time to hear what these men rushing the deck have to say. I feel there is.
Hopefully,
MW Rice
2 comments:
There was one comment that Mr. Miller made in his ultra-cool post modern book that I liked. He said faith isn't a problem with intellect or scientific proof. That you learn there are some smart geniuses who can prove God exist and then there are other smart geniuses who can prove he doesn't. Its more of an argument over who is smarter than the existence of a God, but if he ever rejected God it would be for social reasons. I liked that because in truth I think I can explain Gods existence in an intellectual way. I have no problem (well not a main problem) logically believing in God. Its something inside my heart that struggles with it. With differentiating the God I feel somewhere deep inside me and the social God of religion. I don't know I guess I got to a point where I realized I could fool anyone with my speech and rationale into believing I had a deep unwavering faith. When really I felt clueless. I wanted to discuss God but people, meaning Christians and non-Christians alike, just wanted to prove him, or in some way show off. Man I meant to just leave a comment like "I feel ya on this" but it seems I have rambled on. I haven't had the chance to really delve into this blog of yours but I did happen to stumble on this one today.
I think that Kimberley has a great point that many brilliant men can prove the existence of God (Lewis, Descartes) while other, equally brilliant men can prove the nonexistence of God (Russell, Nietzsche). Of course prove may not be the right word, but argue strongly. It's an important point to realize... For as many people who elegantly argue one point there are often just as many arguing the oppposite.
So there.
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